Monday, February 27, 2006

On Crazy Old Apes

Dear Life,
You sure are weird sometimes.
Sometimes I get the feeling that this whole tripped out existence of ours is just some elaborate joke, and that The Big Man Upstairs resembles more closely this crazy grinning simian rather than some old codger with flowing robes and a sage white beard. It certainly makes more sense. Perhaps God isn't so omniscient after all. Maybe he's just some crazy, ancient gorilla hurling his crusty poop at all of humanity and pounding his chest in gleeful satisfaction when it splats upon its mark. What if we're all just running around our whole lives, dodging the inevitable smack of monkey feces before it hits us in the forehead? I spend so much of my time sorting through the rubbish of the world in order to attain some sort of meaning and purpose for myself, but the longer I sift through all the shit, the more frustrated and further away from any answer I get. Perhaps that's the point.
These are strange days.
P.S. I am fully aware that in my last entry, I used the word "yolked" when I meant to say "yoked." That was embarrasing. But I'm too lazy to edit it. My apologies.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

On Passing Rites, Among Other Things

Um, so I bought a car yesterday. Yeah. Seriously. A new car. Holy shit. How adult. How uncharacteristic of me. How cool. Wow.

And so, another of the fabled Rites of Passage has yanked me by the ear into an all new realm of existence I never thought I'd actually arrive at. Because buying cars is something grown-ups are supposed to do. Not me. I guess I've always held that childish mentality that I'd never actually get old enough to purchase a car or a house. It's a weird feeling when you wake up on that one particular morning with not only that glimmer of desire to make such an influential purchase, but the realization that you actually have the means to do so as well. What a trip. Responsibility hangs over my head in a massive, honeyed orb with anxieties buzzing around it like flesh-eating bumble bees: was this a good decision?, am I ready for such a drastic shift of my finances in the direction of endless monthly payments?, what the fuck am I doing?, etc.

But you know what? I deserve this. Rarely do I do anything really and truly nice for myself that isn't indirectly destructive, and this is a good start. Sure, I feel as though I could vomit gloriously at the thought of the burden I've yolked myself to for the next three years, but ultimately, I think this is going to liberate me in more ways than I even know. Hopefully.

I refuse to ever grow up, but sometimes it's fun to dabble in adulthood.

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Shameless Self-Promoting

Never the Sinner opens this Friday... Click on the link below for more information.